How do you know if you’re gay? There’s a whole spectrum of romantic and sexual orientation, and ultimately, you get to choose whatever label feels right.
But it can be tough to figure it all out, so we’ve created a quiz to help you explore how you feel about your sexuality and start to find some answers within yourself.
- I think so. That’s why I’m taking this quiz.
- Wait, what’s the difference between friendship and a crush?
- Don’t think so, but we’re so close people joke that we’re dating.
- Nope. We’re just friends.
- Definitely, and it was great.
- I haven’t done it, but I want to try it.
- Yeah, and I’m not sure how I felt about it.
- Nope. Not interested.
- Oh, I’ve totally watched shows just for the queer ships and storylines.
- I kind of feel like I can identify with queer characters.
- I notice queer characters, but I don’t feel strongly about them.
- I like the positive representation, but they don’t stand out to me.
- A name comes to mind immediately, and it’s someone of the same gender.
- I make up a name or pick someone random.
- I literally don’t get the big deal about crushes.
- I talk about someone of the opposite sex who I’m genuinely crushing on.
- People pretty much assume that about me all the time.
- I’ve been asked that once or twice.
- No one has asked directly if I’m gay, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did ask.
- Never. People assume I’m straight.
- I can only see myself with someone of the same sex.
- I’m not sure. Any gender seems okay.
- I’ll probably be with someone of the opposite sex.
- I can only see myself with someone of the opposite sex.
- Yeah, that feels right.
- It honestly makes me a little nervous, but also kinda fits.
- I’m not sure how I feel.
- No, I really don’t think that’s me.
- Yeah, but everyone has, right?
- People of the same gender are just objectively more attractive.
- I’m not interested. That would feel like a chore.
- I wouldn’t mind, and I’ve either wanted to do it or have done it.
- Maybe, but I’m not really interested in anyone.
- I’d definitely date (or have dated) someone of the opposite gender.
- Yeah. Pretty often.
- Yes, but I’m not sure I’d actually end up with someone of the same gender.
- As long as I’m with someone I really like, that sounds great.
- Good, I guess?
- I can’t imagine that, and I don’t think I’ll ever want that, regardless of gender.
- I’m too young for that.
- Yup. You got me.
- Maybe! It depends on the day.
- Yeah, but only because I’ve looked at one or two related posts.
- Probably not.
ABCs of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
What do the letters in LGBTQ+ stand for? These terms don’t have universal definitions since everyone who identifies with a certain label gets to pick what that identity means to them. After all, it’s hard to define a key part of someone’s experience in a single word! But to give you the basics of LGBTQ+ terms, we’ve put together a glossary of common terms you might see or hear.
Asexual (“ace”) - Asexual refers to a lack of interest in sex or sexual contact with other people. People who use this umbrella term might experience a range of sexual attraction, from zero desire for sex, to occasional sexual attraction, or attraction only alongside a strong emotional bond (demisexuality).
Bisexual (“bi”) - The term bisexual refers to attraction to people of the same gender and another gender.
Gay - While this adjective has historically described men who are attracted to other men, the term now is used to refer to anyone who experiences romantic, emotional, or physical attraction to people of the same gender.
Gender identity - Gender identity is an internal feeling of how individuals perceive themselves as male, female, genderqueer, non-binary, etc.
Gender expression - Gender expression is the external way people convey their gender identity through behavior and physical appearance like clothing choices, body characteristics, speech patterns, etc.
Intersex - Intersex people are born with anatomy or sex characteristics that don’t fit into the “male” or “female” binary boxes. They may or may not identify with the sex they are assigned at birth (just like non-intersex people).
Lesbian - Women and non-binary people use this term to identify as people who are emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women.
Pansexual (“pan”) - Pansexual refers to people who are attracted to any/all genders or who don’t limit their attraction to the confines of the gender binary. Some pansexual folks might say that gender and sex are not determining factors in their attraction.
Non-binary - Non-binary refers to gender identity rather than sexual orientation. People who identify as non-binary express their gender and identity in a way that lives outside of and inherently rejects the socially-constructed gender binary. This term can include people who are genderqueer or gender expansive too.
Queer - This is an umbrella term that includes a variety of gender & sexual identities that fall outside of heteronormativity and the limitations of gender binary systems. While the word queer was once a slur, many people in the LGBTQ+ community have reclaimed the term to be radical and all inclusive.
Questioning - Questioning is both a noun and a verb. It describes periods of personal reflection and exploration involved in the process of discovering sexuality, gender identity, and gender expression. Additionally, it can be the second Q to queer in LGBTQQ, to denote the inclusion of folks questioning their identities.
Sexual orientation - Sexual orientation describes a person’s inherent physical, emotional, or romantic attraction towards other people, often based on their gender identity and/or expression. It is often used interchangeably with attraction and sexual identity.
Transgender (“trans” or “trans*”) - Transgender is an umbrella term that includes people whose gender identity and/or gender expression transgress the boundaries of gender and can differ from the sex they were assigned at birth. Since gender identity and sexual orientation are separate, transgender people can identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. The spelling trans* is sometimes used to include all gender-queer or expansive identities.
Want to learn more?
There are hundreds of important terms related to sexuality, gender expression, gender identity, and the LGBTQ+ community. For more info, here’s what we recommend: